CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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