put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she smelled like a LAN party
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I need to calm my uterus...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
