It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
