why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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