dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
