i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
