Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
