How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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