so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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