i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
