and i looked up. we had an audience...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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