i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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