Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I could fuck to npr.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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