ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
