Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize