how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
