if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
