my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
