I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
