Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He kissed a someone with a penis
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
