So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize