I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
