the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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