found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
