Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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