So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
