Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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