we have officially lost it.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
