My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
