I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
