whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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