your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You pole danced in your parka.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize