mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
