Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
