i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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