Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
