Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
