i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize