Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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