Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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