Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Congratulations! We have a period
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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