waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
