how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
