see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
