3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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