Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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