ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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