If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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