She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
