If that was your dad, he is hot
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Your penis caused this!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
