I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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