We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
