Where is the hickey?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
