have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
