My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
