hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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