Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
