i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
where are you?
Hypothermia
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
