Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
