Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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