You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
40s are totally the cure
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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