70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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