How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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