It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish you could order shots online.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
