Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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