The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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