I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
