she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
