U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Randomize
