This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
