so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
